He’s
Got A Little List
“As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!”
So sings Ko-Ko, the
Lord High Executioner, in Gilbert and Sullivan’s The
Mikado. In The
Mikado, those in power, wishing to slow the flow of executions, appoint
Ko-Ko to the post of Lord High Executioner. Ko-Ko, next in line for execution,
can not cut off anyone else's head until he cuts off his own. But Ko-Ko takes to the job with relish when
he realizes that he can take down a rival for his love’s affections when the
forlorn young man offers to cut in line and offer himself for the chopping
block. Ko-Ko’s little list suddenly has
teeth.
Liberals
in Washington have their own Ko-Ko in the form of activist Mike Rogers. Rogers has a little list, one he intends to use to politically execute politicians he
deems hypocrites. According the
Washington Post, Rogers’
little list is 33 names long and includes 30 Republicans, including recently disgraced
Sen. Larry Craig, who Rogers alleges are homosexual but actively support
anti-gay legislation.
Rogers’
viewpoint, as long as I don’t dig too deeply. On the surface, it seems to be about punishing hypocrites who live one
way in their personal life, and yet vote against the very behaviors they
themselves participate in.
Rogers seems completely unapologetic for
outing politicians who do not vote according to his exacting GLBT rule
book.
So the theory seems to go, if Craig is indeed gay and was
trolling for anonymous sex and yet was also an opponent of gay marriage or any
other legislation that might be deemed “pro-homosexual”, he is a
hypocrite. Scratch below the surface a
bit and Rogers isn’t quite the arbitrator of truth, justice and the American way as he wants
us to believe.
At first, I was appalled at his approach. Who is he to determine when, where and how
someone addresses their personal life? And who gets to decide when private behavior bleeds into public voting?
But my umbrage was quickly replaced with interest. After all, if personal shenanigans limit what
politicians get to vote on, maybe our Ko-Ko has an idea. Let’s start with the Clintons. . Clearly Bill should never have , nor should he ever be allowed, to speak
to a myriad of issues. True feminism,
sexual harassment in the work place, labor issues and fair hiring firing
policies (just ask the White House travel staff!) not to mention any form of
truly complex analysis of word definition…that “is” is a tricky little bugger. Though perhaps he could consider dry-cleaning
legislation, he certainly can extole the virtues of its regular post-date
usage.
Mrs. Clinton should abstain with the aforementioned Bill
no-nos with a one of her own thrown in. She should remove herself from any votes that address the Feds using
surviellence, files or personal records seeing as she publicly disapproves of
wiretapping people who want to blow us up, but privately seems to like it just
a bit.
Al Gore? He might
want to cut that travel on the private jet and offset his rhetoric before
beating me with the Global Warming club.
Obama? Honestly, his
resume is so thin and his accomplishments, both real and perceived, are so
weightless that his range of possible topics is wide open even if his expertise
is in question.
Senator Byrd, no longer in need of trolling the white sales
at the local sheet shack, might want to settle back in his Senate seat and map
out his Christmas card list rather than adding his vote to any civil rights
legislation.
Ted Kennedy is hereby excused on providing expert opinion
on fidelity, driving and responsible behavior while someone is slowly dying
after being abandoned by the very person who got her there. Hey wait! I think that means he can’t vote on our troops in Iraq. Okay, I’m liking Ko-Ko a little more.
The DNC should keep mum about any issues relating to
fundraising after the Federal Election Commission imposed $719,000 in fines
against various DNC fundraisers in 1996.
Representative John Murtha should not be the
go to guy for advice on bribery or ethics reform. Abscam, the sting that should continue to
sting.
So, despite the fact that our Ko-Ko cannot point to any legislation
supported by Craig that would have made his alleged behavior illegal, simply
because he is deemed a hypocrite, his voice should be extracted from
debate. And thus he has handed me a
promising policy for the rest of Washington.
